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November 21, 2018
Do you aim for a true relationship transformation? Then, you must be willing to do what it takes. If transformed relationships are byproducts of the shift in the value of the relationship, then we ought to know the degree or level of value needed best to lead the relationship into transformation. However, this notion can lead us into questioning—is there a required amount of value to transform something? Are we going to know how much worth we already have in our relationships? Do we have to figure out if there is any deficiency and know how much is lacking so we can add more to it? If there is such an equation to solve or complete in order to transform a relationship, then probably divorce, which is the easiest solution for many, will be lessened, as another option exists in solving the relationship.
In reality, there is no such secret formula or ingredient in transforming a relationship aside from the worth this relationship has in us. Know why you are in that relationship and determine why it matters to you. Moreover, know what is in that relationship that makes you want to keep and transform it.
If you want to transform your relationship because you feel that you have to, then I am encouraging you to hold back and think again. Transforming a relationship should not be out of force, but of a willing desire.
Relationships can be a trap sometimes. That is why some escape it by choosing to end the relationship just to be freed, but some choose to stay. Those who stayed can be merely breathing inside the same traps. They can also be breathing freely inside a transformed relationship they once considered traps.
The actions that we make in our relationships depend solely on us. Given these three options of escaping, staying and changing, the decision is upon us. If you pick the last two options, why do you choose to keep the relationship? Is it because of the people in this relationship? Or is it because of the irresistible force in this world that is love?
Broken or unsuccessful relationships happen because of the most popular reason, which is falling out of love. Some say that there is no longer love in the relationship. Without love, a relationship ends. Given this reason, I came up with a simple equation: Relationship – Love = Relationship Termination.
If that is the equation for terminating a relationship, then the equation to reverse it will be Relationship + Love = Relationship Transformation. With love, relationship thrives. Love is the determining factor to the destination of the relationship. Let love be the answer if you are still looking for solutions on how to transform your relationships.
Jesus summarized the Ten Commandments into two, and these two are all about our relationships – with God and others. He said that we have to love God with all our mind, body and soul and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We should nurture our relationships with God and others with love. It is not just because love is what sustains the relationship, but also because it is God’s commandment to us.
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