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December 05, 2018
Miseries in relationships are common products of brokenness, partiality, and imbalance. Relationships become miserable not just because of the failure of transformation to happen, but also because of the missing components of it. It is because of the belief or the worldly mindset that in order for one to be whole, he or she must find his or her other half, that makes people strive to be in a relationship despite their own brokenness and lack.
Relationships do validate our existence and give significance to our lives, but they can never complete and satisfy us. Another broken person can never patch our own brokenness. Adding another half to a half will only make one, but relationships are not about one person. It is about two or more people making the relationship work.
You may say that marriage is an exception because it is about being one. Well, you have to understand that the oneness in marriage is a union of two complete people and not two broken people. Many marriages fall apart because individuals entered it broken and not whole. They were thinking that marriage can make them complete.
Miseries eventually appear in the relationship because the people involved in it failed to receive the completeness that they long from their partners or the people that they have a relationship with. It is true that we seek wholeness and completion from our relationships. However, we cannot transform and fulfill our relationship until we are individually whole. This is the mystery of relationships.
We can solve this mystery though. It takes a complete being and another complete being to make a better whole called relationship.
Both must determine anything that causes an imbalance in the relationship in order to correct it. We need to have balance, wholeness, and impartiality for us to undergo development and reform. A seesaw can never move right if one side is very heavy and the other is too light. One must be able to let down oneself to lift the other, and vice versa. There will be no getting without giving but we cannot give what we do not have.
If we keep on giving and giving without getting, then we will eventually feel empty. On the other side, if we keep on getting and getting without giving, then the one giving will become empty. Balance is essential. We need to be whole to give wholly. Keep in mind that each relationship is an opportunity for self-discovery with the gain of individual and mutual growth.
Do you have a balanced relationship? How do you keep its balance? As an individual, do you feel complete? Or you need relationships to be complete and whole? Why? If you feel that your relationships are the only ones that complete you, then go back to your relationship with God and dwell on it, for our relationship with Him is the only one that can complete and fully satisfy us.
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